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Mixed Emotions

Having complex PTSD, I know it can be really difficult to uncover and sort through memories that have been repressed. Imagine your brain is a big house. Well, you went for years thinking there was nothing in the attic, nothing in the basement, nothing in the guest room. But over time, you start to realize that the lights were just turned off. So slowly you bring in lamps, shine more light on the rooms and start to see more and more of what had been stored in those rooms you had thought were just empty. When I paint, I feel so engaged in the process of art-making that I'm able to access parts of myself that haven't come to the surface consciously. And reflecting on my art is very connected to how I reflect on my life and who I am as a human being. I frequently work with vibrant, bright colors. Yet I tend to make more muted colors when I'm sorting through something that feels murky or confusing. Some of the paintings in this series have vibrant colors. Others are more subtle, with a lot of different colors mixed in, and at first glance, some might appear gray. This is similar to how we experience our emotions when there are multiple firing at once. When sadness, anger, and joy is mixed with guilt, shame, and fear, it can be difficult to discern any of these emotions. It may feel like stumbling through a musky cloud of smoke.

Artwork in Mixed Emotions

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  1. Mixed Emotions by Nicole Sylvia Javorsky, Image 1.

    Mixed Emotions, 2022

    Watercolor on paper

    11 x 15 in (27.94 x 38.1 cm)

  2. Feelings Flow by Nicole Sylvia Javorsky, Image 1.

    Feelings Flow, 2022

    Watercolor on paper

    11 x 15 in (27.94 x 38.1 cm)

  3. Rollercoaster by Nicole Sylvia Javorsky, Image 1.

    Rollercoaster, 2021

    Acrylic on wood

    10 x 10 in (25.4 x 25.4 cm)

  4. Through my rose-colored glasses by Nicole Sylvia Javorsky, Image 1.

    Through my rose-colored glasses, 2021

    Acrylic on canvas

    16 x 20 in (40.64 x 50.8 cm)

  5. Muddying the waters, or scratching the surface? by Nicole Sylvia Javorsky, Image 1.

    Muddying the waters, or scratching the surface?, 2021

    Acrylic on wood

    8 x 16 in (20.32 x 40.64 cm)

  6. My Mushy Insides, outside for you now, and soft by Nicole Sylvia Javorsky, Image 1.

    My Mushy Insides, outside for you now, and soft, 2021

    Acrylic on canvas

    24 x 20 in (60.96 x 50.8 cm)

  7. Love the whole bouquet, accepting each and every flower by Nicole Sylvia Javorsky, Image 1.

    Love the whole bouquet, accepting each and every flower, 2021

    Acrylic on canvas

    16 x 20 in (40.64 x 50.8 cm)

  8. I've got Wind behind my wings by Nicole Sylvia Javorsky, Image 1.

    I've got Wind behind my wings, 2021

    Acrylic on canvas

    20 x 16 x 0.5 in (50.8 x 40.64 x 1.27 cm)

  9. The Lost Boys by Nicole Sylvia Javorsky, Image 1.

    The Lost Boys, 2020

    Acrylic on canvas panel

    10 x 8 in (25.4 x 20.32 cm)

  10. Flying Solo by Nicole Sylvia Javorsky, Image 1.

    Flying Solo, 2020

    Acrylic on canvas

    16 x 20 x 0.5 in (40.64 x 50.8 x 1.27 cm)