How does someone hold heartbreak and beauty at the same time?  Opposing feelings such as grief and happiness, or disappointment and joy, can make any person feel like they could explode at any moment. Holding opposite emotions at the same time, does, in fact takes practice and is an important skill to cultivate. I’ve taken to creating art and write essays in the hope I’ll better manage and understand opposing feelings.  When I go to my studio, I allow those contradictory thoughts and feelings to come up and spill out onto the paper or canvas. Many times, I start by painting an Enso, which means “circle” in Japanese.  Making Enso is a Zen meditation practice that follows the breath while making the circle gesture with traditional black sumi ink on paper.   Starting an Enso helps quiet my mind and consciously follow my breath in and out. I notice then that the act of breathing itself is a contrast of opposites, and yet you can’t have one without the other.

I often use a variety of colors when I create an abstract mixed media art piece. What seems to be start out as painful or ambiguous may end up looking hauntingly beautiful or even have a calming effect.  In this way, my art expresses the sometimes confusing paradoxes of life.